LIFE IN THE SUBURBS: ‘The Borough’ likes Facebook, traffic

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If I am wrong, don’t tell me. I decided at age 16 that no other town or city in Maine ended with the letters b-o-r-o-u-g-h. So I decided to call it, henceforth, “The Borough.” (I also decided to use “henceforth” whenever possible). This week Scarborough is getting slam-dunked 90 mph into the future….

Happy Thanksgiving…Sort Of

Scarborough is finally one of those towns where, if you want keen insight into Zip Code 04074 land, get on Facebook. FB was filled the past two weeks with what some would call “Thanksgiving wishes.” Every third person was saying, “I am so grateful for family and friends this Thanksgiving season.” It struck me, generally, as a cliché with little meaning. I asked 10 people, innocently, for some details: “Who in your family would you say is someone you are really thankful for? And what have they done that makes you grateful?” I asked. One person had great detail. Another admitted he had none. The other eight kind of fumbled around…mouthing clichés similar to the original one.

Joe Green in the BZ Copter!

As recently as l983, a Scarborough dairy farmer held up traffic in Scarborough, herding livestock down Route 1 near the South Portland border. Now? We are getting almost Boston-level commuter problems.

There is a radio station, AM 970, that gives traffic reports each morning. A reporter says, “If you are driving from Brunswick to Portland, expect to spend 30 minutes on that trip.” He will then add, “The trip from Scarborough, Oak Hill, to Portland should take you about l4 minutes,” or whatever the time is that morning. Fascinating and pretty cool.

When Dinosaurs Roamed

You ought to listen to FM 103.7 some Sunday night soon. It’s a country music station out of New Hampshire. Sunday night is “old-time country night,” or something like that. They play Waylon Jennings, Conway Twitty, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, etc. (Not the “pretty boys,” as my late Florida grandmother would say). It reminds me of taking that trip to the Boston Science Museum that all 5th graders in 04074 Land take each year. Good (and perhaps only…) chance to see and learn about whales or eclipses or tidal pools, etc.

Thanksgiving Who Said That?

Great Thanksgiving quote on dry cleaner bulletin board “Happy people aren’t thankful; People who are thankful are happy.”

Gone To The Dogs

The hottest electoral topic in 10 years has been the dog referendum. The Town Council earlier this year passed a new ordinance requiring dogs to be leased at all times on beaches. Dog fans came out of the woodwork. No! Let them be unleashed and under “voice control” of their owners only for a few hours per week, they say.

My position?

I don’t care. I own a dog, but am skeptical of any human being’s claim that they have Fido under “voice control.”

I have been jumped by dogs a few times while walking on Higgins Beach.

I am willing to allow things to be “The Wild Wild West” with out of control dogs.

Quite a position, huh?

That is the end of the column. Traffic should begin flowing again any minute now, and you can exit this page.

Dan Warren lives in Scarborough. His email address is: jonesandwarren@gmail.com.

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