Nipping the nips


“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra

Isn’t government amazing, just dazzling you with the stupidity it can create? I find it fascinating that such a small bottle of alcohol can be covered by so many stories in the news and discussed by so many politicians who might just be a bottle or two short of a six-pack. It’s not like the stories of those little plastic and glass bottles, which once contained alcohol and end up as trash along the roadside, are false; I have picked up plenty from my small amount of road frontage on Route 202. (I can also create a method to connect those little bottles to who actually purchased them, although I am sure that there first would have to be a significant increase in the price of each and every bottle. More on that below.)

I noticed one news story that said someone who purchases these little bottles and then discards them after draining the alcohol content is doing so to avoid the evidence of drinking and driving. The evidence is still there but no longer in the bottle, because if it was there would be no reason to arrest that driver. I must add what is even worse is that some purchase these little bottles, drink the contents in the parking lot of the very building from which they purchased them and then drive off. I see many persons buying just one can or bottle of beer. I have no idea if they are the same people that discard them while driving past my place, but I thank them for their contribution of 5 cents to my wallet. I sincerely hope that was the only can or bottle of beer they drank while driving but somehow I have to think otherwise.

No need for a lengthy discussion about the Legislature passing a bill to add a 5-cent deposit to those little bottles of alcohol, which was then vetoed by Governor LePage, who then threatened to prevent those little wonderful bottles from being sold if his veto was overridden. As I write this column, I now understand the legislators did override his veto so the fight goes on. I’ll pay attention to what happens next.

What perplexes me is with all of the problems facing this state along with the problems many of the citizens are having, can we ever expect anything but insanity from the State House in Augusta? I suggest a term limit of zero for any politician that proves worthless when opening their pie hole. (It’s kind of funny using that word because when I was very young I thought that word meant something nasty.)

I find it sad the governor is having a tit-for-tat fight over just about everything with the legislators who are supposed to represent us. I am beginning to think the best thing is to set one of those “nips” in front of each and every one of them before they start conducting their daily business. I would first ask them to lock the windows of the State House so they can’t throw those little bottles out of the windows and create even more trash. But what’s sad is that if the governor doesn’t succeed in doing away with those little bottles and a 5-cent deposit comes into being, some of the larger chain stores that sell them will have to go through the expense of buying the little stickers and applying them to each and every bottle.

There might be a solution although I have that strange feeling that both government and businesses will unite against my suggestion. If one purchases alcohol at a Big Apple store the customer must have their driver’s license scanned in order to complete that purchase. I suggest the State of Maine should pay for that equipment at every store that sells alcohol products so they can do the same. Then connect the sale of each bottle of alcohol by a number in case that bottle becomes roadside trash.

Lane Hiltunen of Windham loves to nip at government.