ON THE RIGHT LANE: Close encounters of the dumb kind


This past week was a week I want to forget. This new age of advances in electronics and computerized gadgets is literally frying my brain or at least what little I have left of it.

I recently purchased a new computer and a different telephone system instead of being Magicjacked. Both came with free self-installation except for the severe mental strains of trying to figure out how to install everything properly. Then to my dismay I end up watching a commercial about a car that the driver can talk to. Of course other things can go wrong so last week ended with my muffler and tailpipe falling apart.

I would love to park my automobile and have alternative forms of transportation but living outside of a major city in Maine gives an almost 100-percent guarantee there is nothing available except an ambulance ride to the nuthouse. That is someplace I feel like heading when driving and nowadays it doesn’t make any difference where that is.

One thing that shocked me is that the amount of younger people seeking a driver’s license has declined dramatically and that surprises me because I took driver’s education when I was 15 because I wanted my license when I turned 16. Fewer younger drivers on the road might be a good thing because national statistics show an alarming increase in the number of younger drivers being killed. All one has to do is sit in the Windham High School parking lot and watch the cars coming out unto Route 202 without obeying the stop signs. OK, some of the cars running the stop signs are parents and teachers and maybe even visitors. A couple of times I had to hit the brakes when traveling on Route 202 because a school bus did the same thing. As a matter of fact, this past Monday as I was traveling on Route 202 a Windham school bus made a left turn in front of the car ahead of me and that driver had to slam the brakes in order to avoid an accident.

Before I move on to my two other biggest pet peeves about drivers, maybe it’s time to have every driver receive an eye examination every year. I just love it (not really) when someone pulls up to a stop sign or the end of their driveway and stares at you when you are approaching them, especially at 50 mph. I will never understand why they look at you when you are 400 feet away but wait until you are about 40 feet away to pull out in front of you. What’s even worse is that some think it is possible for you to slow down enough to avoid an accident while they are doing about 2 mph. Please don’t think the symbol I give those drivers is road rage or my IQ. What I am showing the other driver is the actual amount of brain cells they have, one!

I have to wonder why the Maine legislators want to ban us from using cell phones while permitting many public employees to do what we can’t. If cell phones are that distracting, it doesn’t make sense that a government employee should have special benefits that the general populace doesn’t. That is, unless the government believes they should tell us what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. I have seen local police and other public safety personnel along with Public Works and school bus drivers talking on cell phones while driving. What’s even scarier is the amount of drivers one witnesses on a daily basis talking on their cell phones.

My biggest pet peeve is tailgaters. Why they love to suck in my exhaust fumes is way beyond my intelligence or it just might be the fact that they have no intelligence in the first place. ’Nuff said.

Lane Hiltunen, of Windham, is parking his vehicle…and buying a tank.